"But why do I not get back quicker when I want to so bad?" Not because God does not want the work done. Always because we fail in some way; it may be we have never repented half the way back. It may be we have some mental reservation, or are holding to some secret desire that God cannot grant.
As Mohammed said, "There is no escape from God but to God."
It may be we want our old place without paying the adequate price. It may be that the memory of our high spiritual intimacy and the freedom with which we bounded along the way, being taken from us, the soul is brought back to naked faith, and the way seems all but impossible.
Sure it is that the first steps back again are bitter. No blazing light, no tide of joy, no feast day of high things and wines on the lees, but instead sack cloth and ashes. Confessions are not spoken like testimonies. It may be that the way may be made rigorous for the sake of the better experience the Master designs to bring you to.
Learn to be patient with yourself and let God have His way.
Remember that charity thinketh no evil, much less repeats it.
There are two good rules which ought to be written on every heart:
- Never believe anything bad about anybody unless you positively know it is true;
- Never tell…unless you feel that it is absolutely necessary, and know that God is listening while you tell it.
Henry Van Dyke, Excerpt from The Nazarene Messenger, September 12, 1901
Used with permission from Nazarene Archives for Coffee Break with Holiness Today